; Phantoms and Monsters: Pulse of the Paranormal

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Tall Gray Hairy Biped Observed in Michigan Woods

I recently found the following account:

I feel it's just an obligation to say that I am a skeptic. I've been trying to convince myself I didn't see a large, hairy, humanoid thing in in the woods all those years ago; but I did.

This was somewhere around the mid-2000's when I was in middle school. I was staying at a friend's house for the night in the backwoods of Michigan. For privacy we'll say his name is J.

Immediately behind J's house was a few acres of woods that led to a lake. If you went straight back into the woods from his backyard, there was a path that went straight to the lake, which was intersected at 90 degrees by another path about halfway to the lake. Probably a quarter mile from the backyard to the lake. If you went straight down the path from the backyard, then turned left at the intersection, the path was a downhill grade, followed by a flat portion, followed by an uphill grade, which eventually ran into a two lane country road, one of those 55 mph ones that goes on for miles with not so much one or two houses for miles.

It was late in the afternoon and the sun was just starting to set. We, being middle school boys, were running around the woods all afternoon playing with fake guns and stuff. Good times. Absolutely nothing leading up to this point was strange. No weird, eerie feelings. No odd, unidentified sounds. No paranoia or ghost stories prior to playing in the woods. Just two kids running around having a great time outside.

Well, we were basically pretending we were Army guys. At one point, J decided to run off saying something about flanking the enemy. He dashes off to my left. I started creeping through the woods pretending to shoot down bad guys as a went.

I found myself standing at the intersection described earlier. Straight forward was towards the lake. To the left was the path that went down, then back up to the road. I was standing looking diagonally between the two paths, when I hear some faint sound slightly off to my right, towards the lake.

What I saw made my whole body tingle, in the worst possible way. About 50 feet, maybe more, maybe less, towards the lake and just behind a tree, I see this face and shoulder/arm peeking around it. The most terrifying part was that it was probably two feet or more higher than you'd expect a humans head to be. Before I could properly observe the face, which was undoubtedly hairy, it snapped back behind the tree as if it realized I could see it.

The color of the figure I saw was light grey, like your average cement sidewalk. Because of that I was unsure of what it was. My first couple thoughts were sheer confusion and fear. Then, in my frozen state, I remembered that J was wearing a shirt almost exactly that shade of grey. I tried whisper-shouting his name towards the now hidden figure. I called out maybe two or three times when off about 50 feet behind me and to my left, down the path leading towards the road, J emerged from the thicker trees. This was the complete opposite direction from the figure I saw, and there's no way he could have sneaked around me in that short of a time frame. To further drive the point home, it was Fall, and the ground was covered in layers of dry, dead deciduous leaves. The crunch from the leaves was very distinct and you couldn't avoid it.

Anyways, J had heard me call out, and from just down the slight decline, he looked up and asked what was going on. I pointed off into the trees where I had seen the figure and said at normal volume "I saw something big over there!"

As soon as I finished that sentence, I mean the very second, whatever I had seen started stomping off towards the road, parallel to the path we were on but probably 50-100 feet deeper in the woods. Woods which were too think to see anything at that distance.

For some God forsaken reason, we tried to run after it. J and I were athletic. As athletic as 6th or 7th graders could be. We played tons of sports and we're fast kids. We were hauling ass down the path parallel to the beast, as fast as we could sprint, and yet it was absolutely smoking us. The road, if I remember correctly, was a solid quarter mile from the intersection of the two paths. We had maybe just finished running down the downhill portion when this monster was already to the road. And believe it or not, we could tell where it was from the crunching leaves, and you could here its massive footsteps clear as day, even while running.

When we realized it was getting to the road, we also realized a car was coming. I sh*t you not, as soon as the crunching leaves stopped and the thing stepped out onto the road, the car SLAMMED on its brakes and pounded on the horn. Its tires screeched for a solid three to four seconds at least. When the car finally stopped we heard the leaves start crunching on the other side of the road, and then the car SLAMMED on the gas, peeled out again and took off like a bat out of Hell.

Keep in mind we could only hear all of this. We didn't see the car so there's no way we could ever track the person down to ask what they saw, but I wouldn't be surprised if their story is out there on the internet somewhere; about the time they almost turned a Bigfoot into roadkill.

Anyways, we finally made it to the road and crossed to the other side. On that side, it was mostly flat woods as far as the eye could see. Nothing but trees, trees, and more trees. No sight nor sound of the beast. We waited for a bit then went back home.

Was it a Bigfoot for sure? I can't say. But what I do know is that it was tall, hairy, grey, and 100% bipedal. There was absolutely no mistaking the sound of it running. But I'm almost sure this thing was sprinting. The speed at which it reached the road was utterly unbelievable. It ran a quarter mile in probably close to 20 seconds. And trust me, I understand how absurd that is. TC

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