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Friday, April 05, 2013

Just the Facts?: Tom Cruise...'aliens may exist' -- Roger Ebert's Best Bad Reviews -- Entity Disguised as Human


Tom Cruise says aliens may exist

Tom Cruise is promoting his latest alien adventure flick, Oblivion, this week at its Russian premiere. In response to questions by the British newspaper The Sun, he says he would be up for a trip to space, and would not be surprised to find aliens when he gets there. Cruise is known for several roles in movies about alien invaders. In Oblivion, he plays a drone repairman who is one of the last surviving humans on earth, which, you guessed it, has been devastated by attacks from an alien race.

When asked whether he would like to take a trip to space, Cruise told The Sun, “Who wouldn’t want to do something like that?” He added, “I’m going to let a couple of other people test it out first but it would be great. I was always hoping when I was a kid that we would be travelling to different planets by now.”

The other people he may be referring to are the several other stars who already have their tickets for space flights being offered by Virgin Galactic. The space flights have yet to begin, but actors Aston Kutcher, Kate Winslet, and Russell Brand already have seats reserved. Brand’s ticket was a birthday present from his ex-wife Katy Perry, who is reportedly “obsessed” with extraterrestrials, and is a big fan of the TV show Ancient Aliens.

Cruise offered his opinion on aliens, saying, “I don’t think you can actually count it out.” He continued, “It might be a little arrogant to think we were the only ones in all the galaxies throughout the universe, but I’ve never met one!”

Incidentally, Cruise is probably the most high profile scientologist in the world. According to many who have left the Church of Scientology, some of their more advanced and secretive teachings are of an extraterrestrial named Xenu, who manages this part of the galaxy. Supposedly, this alien brought humans to Earth, and it is due to this alien’s antics that we have many of the psychological issues we deal with today. No wonder Cruise likes to blow them away in the movies. - Open Minds

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Woman says aliens are helping fix British economy

A spiritual healer from Bromley says aliens are guiding the economy towards recovery, and have some important advice for Arsenal football manager Arsene Wenger.

Stephany Cohen is in constant communication with extra terrestrial races, including Grays, Cat People and the half-reptile, half-alien Reptilians.

The 52-year-old former policewoman says Reptilians, who are highly skilled in business and finance, have taken a special interest in Britain's faltering economy, and are trying to help.

She said: "The people of Britain need not be too down - Reptilians are helping.

"They are working with people's minds, in the background, to steer the economy in the right direction.

"It is a very bad time for everyone but recovery will happen in its own time, at the right time."

While it may not be suprising that George Osborne's economic policy is influenced by giant lizards, perhaps we should find comfort in the fact there is a superior race looking after us.

The selfless aliens travel regularly to Earth from their home in the Canis Major system, which also homes Grays and Cat People.

And Ms Cohen, of Durham Avenue, says Grays regularly pass on advice, intended for struggling Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger.

She said: "The Grays offer guidance to Mr Wenger.

"At the moment they are telling him he needs to get rid of a whole lot of people and bring in a stronger squad - especially in the defence.

"He also needs to let assistant manager Steve Bould do his job.

"Mr Wenger likes to do everything but he is not good at everything."

Ms Cohen, who discussed her alien connections on This Morning last week, admits she possesses a physical relationship with Grays, who give her orgasms.

She says her appearance on This Morning resulted in an increase in alien activity, which is the reason for the unfavourable weather of late.

She said: "Aliens have been travelling from other planets to Earth because they knew I was on This Morning.

"That has been the reason for the bad weather recently - to cover up the alien ships.

"They have been bringing young aliens to see what I was saying in the studio - like a school trip from other planets.

"Their ships hide because they do not want to be bombed out of the air - they know most of us do not understand what they are about."

Ms Cohen has just started working on her autobiography, which begins with her first encounter with Grays in Negril, Jamaica, in 1986. - News Shopper

Video - Cohen interview

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Getting High on Hydrangeas

A Nuremberg pensioner named only as Roland S. told the tz regional paper on Wednesday that a number of his hydrangeas – large bushes found in suburban gardens and often favoured by the elderly – had been deflowered.

He asked his neighbours and indeed they, too, had found theirs bare. Gabi G., from nearby Binswangen told the paper how she had woken up to find the flowers and leaves missing from her shrubs as well.

Reports of hydrangea raids have, the area's police told the paper, been filtering in increasingly regularly due to the rising trend of it being smoked – it reportedly has an effect similar to cannabis.

Though side effects are unclear, the plant releases hydrogen cyanide – a poisonous substance linked to brain and nerve damage, German pharmaceutical industry magazine Pharmazeutische Zeitung said after examining the trend more closely.

“The shrub-like plant with large pink or blue flowers has been linked to having an intoxicating effect. Shoots, flowers and leaves are being smoked,” said a recent article on the site. It added that doing so “can even cause death.” - The Local

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Roger Ebert's Best Bad Reviews

Roger Ebert passed away on Thursday at age 70. The following are some of his best bad reviews. Let's revisit those today as we mourn the first film critic to win a Pulitzer Prize.

When Roger Ebert hates a film, he really doesn’t mince words about it. Here are 10 films he absolutely loathed (including a couple of surprises) and his dry assessments of their value.

1. Armageddon, one star. OK, say you do succeed in blowing up an asteroid the size of Texas. What if a piece the size of Dallas is left? Wouldn't that be big enough to destroy life on Earth? What about a piece the size of Austin? Let's face it: Even an object the size of that big Wal-Mart outside Abilene would pretty much clean us out, if you count the parking lot.

2. The Brown Bunny, zero stars. I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.

When the movie’s director responded by mocking Ebert’s weight, Ebert said, “It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny."

3. Jason X, half star. "This sucks on so many levels." Dialogue from "Jason X"; rare for a movie to so frankly describe itself. "Jason X" sucks on the levels of storytelling, character development, suspense, special effects, originality, punctuation, neatness and aptness of thought.

4. Mad Dog Time, zero stars. "Mad Dog Time" is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. Oh, I've seen bad movies before. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. Watching "Mad Dog Time" is like waiting for the bus in a city where you're not sure they have a bus line.... "Mad Dog Time" should be cut into free ukulele picks for the poor.

5. The Usual Suspects, one-and-a-half stars. Once again, my comprehension began to slip, and finally I wrote down: "To the degree that I do understand, I don't care." It was, however, somewhat reassuring at the end of the movie to discover that I had, after all, understood everything I was intended to understand. It was just that there was less to understand than the movie at first suggests.

6. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, zero stars. [The title character] makes a living prostituting himself. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. "Deuce Bigalow" is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.... Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

7. North, zero stars. I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

8. Spice World, half star. Spice World is obviously intended as a ripoff of A Hard Day's Night which gave The Beatles to the movies...the huge difference, of course, is that the Beatles were talented--while, let's face it, the Spice Girls could be duplicated by any five women under the age of 30 standing in line at Dunkin' Donuts.

9. Good Luck Chuck, one star. There is a word for this movie, and that word is: Ick.

10. Freddy Got Fingered, zero stars. This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels. - Mental Floss

NOTE: this is why is liked Roger Ebert...I usually agreed with him. Lon

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Tarantula discovered...the size of a human face

Scientists have found an enormous, previously unknown, species of venomous spider in a remote Sri Lankan village.

The giant tarantula is as big as a human face.

Its legs, which have unique daffodil-yellow markings, span a massive 20cm (eight inches). The arachnid also has a distinctive pink band around its body.

The new species was found in the war-torn north of the South Asian country by scientists from Sri Lanka's Biodiversity Education and Research (BER) organisation.

It has been named Poecilotheria rajaei, in recognition of a senior police officer called Michael Rajakumar Purajah, who guided the research team through a hazardous jungle overrun by civil unrest in order to seek out the spider.

The arachnid had originally been presented to BER three years ago by villagers in Mankulam, who had killed a male specimen.

Scientists immediately realised the dead spider was not like anything they already knew and a group was charged with finding any living relatives.

The living Poecilotheria rajaei were eventually discovered in the former doctor's quarters of the village's hospital.

According to wired.com, Ranil Nanayakkara, the co-founder of BER, said: "They are quite rare.

"They prefer well-established old trees, but due to deforestation the number have dwindled and due to lack of suitable habitat they enter old buildings."

The website described the tarantula as "colourful, fast and venomous".

The species is said to be related to a class of South American tarantula that includes the Goliath bird-eater, one of the world's largest spiders.

In other reports Mr Nanayakkara is quoted as saying none of the tarantulas found in Sri Lanka have bites that are deadly to humans. However, the Poecilotheria rajaei would be able to kill animals as large as mice, lizards and small birds and snakes.

Peter Kirk, who covered the discovery for the British Tarantula Society's journal, told Sky News: "Ranil has been working on these spiders since 2009 out in Sri Lanka and this is the first of what is thought to be a number of new species he has discovered in what was previously the inaccessible northern region of the island.

"It demonstrates that wildlife continues to survive whilst we are in the throes of conflict and that they can adapt to its changing environment - but also highlights that we risk destroying the habitats of species new to science and condemning them to extinction before they are even discovered." - Sky

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Entity disguised as human

El Monte, California - 2/1992 - unedited: This was a strange event,I got a letter in the mail that i was to receive a free camera,all i had to do was show up at a specific address at a specific time and date. note: this was a long time ago back in the early 90s.the location was in el Monte California,so me and my brother decided to go.upon arriving at the exact location we noticed that the address where we were led to was a vacant lot. we thought okay this was obviously a hoax,but to what end?,we were also very hungry and decided to go to the burger king across the street,it was here where the event took place.my brother told me what he wanted and i stood in line,about four people in front of me then this guy walks in who to me looked like a bum,dirty,cut off gloves,long brownish coat.and he got behind me and i remember looking at my brother and over to the cashier girl who also noticed this man.i feared he was going to ask for money,i expected it.instead he leans over and taps my shoulder and i turn to him and he asks me or rather questions me.he says "you really dont know what time it is do you?,you dont know what 145 is? i turned around back towards the line and now the few people in front of me as well as the cashier girl noticed him and then all of theyre faces turned to shock,i thought he maybe pulled out a knife or a gun,but instead what they witnessed was he simply vanished... i quickly turned behind me and he was gone without a trace,the lobby door just feet away stood still,he couldnt have made it out without one of us seeing him do so.now comes even the weirder part.by the time i reached the front of the line everyone including myself forgot what transpired just a few minutes earlier.this incident wasnt my first either concerning the number 145,and every time i encountered a human looking being,the situation was the same,they questioned me about the time,and 145.now honestly to me i have no idea the significance of this number,i was wondering if anyone else had ever experienced anything similar? - MUFON CMS

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