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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Just the Facts?: Three Strange Theories -- I'm Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan -- China's Pompeii



Three Strange Theories You Might Believe...After Attending Arizona's International UFO Congress

Mummies in the Grand Canyon

Back in 1909, or so the legend goes, two Smithsonian funded explorers discovered an intricate network of tunnels deep in the bedrock of the Grand Canyon. Inside they found a cache of Egyptian mummies, Indian artifacts, and Asian relics, all of which suggested visitations from ancient Eastern societies long before Columbus discovered the new world.

The Phoenix Gazette posted the discovery as front page news on April 5th of that year, but no follow-up story ever developed and the two explorers have since been lost to history.

I don't know about you, but this whole story is begging to be National Treasur-ized, if only to get footage of Nic Cage chewing scenery whilst riding a burro.

The Mogollon Monster

Somewhere along the Rim, a distant cousin of the Yeti is rumored to prowl the forest. Based on eye-witness accounts, the Mogollon Monster is over seven feet tall and covered in a thick coat of dark or reddish brown fur.

Often thought to be a physical manifestation of a vengeful Native American spirit, a 1903 report by the Arizona Republican claimed that the man-ape was once seen drinking the blood of two cougars it had beaten to death with a large club.

Note to NAU frat guys...maybe you want to sit out the local edition of "Messing with Sasquatch."

Page, Arizona - The Shadow Government's Transit Station

It is widely thought in conspiracy lore that just outside of Dulce, New Mexico, a shadowy arm of the New World Order is conducting experiments in psychokinesis, mind control and human/alien hybrids in a multi-level subterranean base.

In order to ferry workers between this black-ops location and the ultra secretive Area 51 in Nevada, some 700 miles away, a high speed (possibly magnetic levitation) train system was constructed deep below the Earth's surface. Inexplicably, the train is not just a straight shot and instead has a spur line that ends somewhere below the City of Page, Arizona.

No one has yet discovered the connection between nefarious, government-sponsored mad science and the Biggest Little Town in the Desert, but the place HAS played host to several sci-fi films including Hulk, Evolution, Eight Legged Freaks, two Planet of the Apes films and Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time. When viewed as a whole, one wonders if the town elders are not so subtly hinting about their sleepy hamlet's role in an inter-dimensional conspiracy. - phoenixtimes

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Suspect Claims He is Elvis' Brother and Half Orangutan

A man, who told authorities he was Elvis Presley's brother, CIA director and half orangutan, was arrested after an incident at a bank in Naples, California, the Collier County Sheriff's Office said. Mark R. Loescher, 51, faces charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after the Friday incident.

According to the probable cause statement, authorities responded to a bank in connection to a call about a man, who had pulled a gun on woman after she approached him about his smoking car. Loescher and his vehicle matched the description given to authorities, the report said. Authorities pulled the car over, and Loescher told them he was in the CIA.

"As I was handcuffing him he told that he had jurisdiction over me since he was the director of the CIA," the law enforcement officer wrote in the statement. "While speaking with Loescher I could see that his comments were very off the wall and it did not appear as if he was all there mentally."

Besides being Presley's brother and CIA director, he also said he was half orangutan and that authorities needed to contact the "Fusion Center to check on his monkey blood." He also said that he was a "g-man," and that he was good friends with "President Bush and has the same attorney," the report said. A fully loaded magnum revolver and 104 bullets were seized from the car, which was towed. The passenger was released and taken home. - nbcmiami

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Goblins (which turn into baboons) terrorize Zimbabwean schoolgirls

Goblins which appear as extremely short human beings before turning into baboons are reportedly terrorising girls at St Sebastian Secondary School in Matabeleland South. The school is located in Matobo district and is under Chief Malaba. Education Inspector for Matobo district, Patrick Dube, confirmed the incident. He said: "As a ministry when we hear issues we investigate. We went to the school on Thursday to investigate and we are yet to establish what is really happening at the school."

Dube said both the teachers and pupils told them of the strange happenings at the schools that were affecting girls. The pupils are reportedly seeing what they are describing as very short human beings that turn into baboons before attacking them. The suspected goblins are reportedly only visible to their victims. A concerned parent, who witnessed one of the attacks during a school meeting, said the pupil who was attacked fell into a trance like a possessed person.

"I think that the pupil was possessed by demons. She fell into a trance and then all of a sudden she started screaming and kicking into the air vigorously for about five minutes. She did not say anything during the fit. When she recovered, she said she had seen a baboon trying to slap her," said the parent who spoke on condition of anonymity. A staff member at the school who also declined to be named said the attacks began two weeks ago. "This problem started two weeks ago when two pupils were attacked. We did not consider it a serious issue until more girls were attacked," said the staff member.

The staff member said now that the number of girls being attacked was increasing everyday, there was need for some cleansing to be carried out. "We have since sent the affected pupils home to recover under the custody of their parents," said the staff member. One of the teachers said that one of the girls fell into a trance when her teacher entered the classroom. "She started screaming when her teacher entered the classroom. When she recovered she said very short human beings were accompanying the teacher. The pupil said the human beings turned into baboons. - zimdiaspora

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Extraordinary 298-Million-Year-Old Forest Discovered Under Chinese Coal Mine

American and Chinese scientists are flabbergasted after discovering a giant 298-million-year-old forest buried intact under a coal mine near Wuda, in Inner Mongolia, China.

They are calling it the Pompeii of the Permian period because, like the ancient Roman city, it was covered and preserved by volcanic ash.

Like Pompeii, this swamp forest is so perfectly maintained that scientists know where every plant originally was. This has allowed them to map it and to create the images above. This extraordinary finding "is like Pompeii", according to University of Pennsylvania paleobotanist Hermann Pfefferkorn, who characterized it as "a time capsule."

It's marvelously preserved. We can stand there and find a branch with the leaves attached, and then we find the next branch and the next branch and the next branch. And then we find the stump from the same tree. That's really exciting.

They are in fact finding entire trees and plants exactly as they were at the time of the volcanic eruption, just like archeologists in Pompeii found humans, animals and buildings at the base of Mount Vesuvius, near Naples, in the Italian region of Campania. Except Pompeei was buried in AD 79 and this forest was covered in ash 298 million years ago, during the Permian period.

The researchers discovered the 10,763-square-foot (1000-square-meter) area hidden under a coal mine using heavy industrial machinery. They believe that this frozen-in-time fossilized forest was covered under gigantic amounts of ash that fell from the sky for days.

So far, they have identified six groups of trees, some of them 80 feet tall. Some of them are Sigillaria and Cordaites, but they also found large groups of a type called Noeggerathiales, which are now completely extinct.

During the Permian, which extends from 299 to 251 million years ago, there weren't conifers or flowers. Plants reproduced like ferns, using spores, and the modern continents were still joined in a single mass of land called Pangaea. This geologic period happened at the end of the Paleozoic era, after the Carboniferous.

During this time there were also animals. This is when the first groups of mammals, turtles, lepidosaurs and archosaurs started to roam the Earth. Scientist believe that the Permian—and with it the entire Paleozoic era—ended with the largest mass extinction ever, which obliterated 90 percent of the marine and 70 percent of the terrestrial species.

After this event, the Mesozoic era started with the Triassic period. That's when the first true mammals evolved, the pterosaurs flew for the first time and the archosaurs' rose to dominate Earth.

Pfefferkorn worked on the project with Jun Wang of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, Yi Zhang of Shenyang Normal University and Zhuo Feng of Yunnan University. The results of their findings have been published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. - gizmodo

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Suspect Says Angel Told Him To Kill

Prosecutors urged jurors Tuesday to dismiss a murder defendant's assertions that an angel who looked like Olivia Newton-John ordered him to fatally shoot a co-worker's husband outside a preschool. They say Hemy Neuman was not delusional or insane and had planned the killing for months.

Neuman fell so hopelessly in love with Andrea Sneiderman, whom he supervised at General Electric, that he believed he was the father of her two children and that the only way to protect them was to kill Russell Sneiderman in November 2010, Neuman's attorney Doug Peters said during opening arguments.

"He thought Sophia and Ian were his children and that Rusty Sneiderman was a danger to them," said Peters, who contends his client is not guilty by reason of insanity because he couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong at the time of the killing.

Neuman believed an angel told him to pull the trigger, said Peters, who didn't give details.

Prosecutors, though, urged jurors to reject the insanity claim, arguing the 48-year-old Neuman meticulously planned the killing so he could be with Andrea Sneiderman. Prosecutors said Neuman will also claim he was visited by a demon who sounded like Barry White. Continue reading at THP

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Death memorabilia

Whitney Houston's family has ensured the hotel room she died in has been meticulously stripped of any memorabilia to prevent anyone selling the items to profit out of her death.

TMZ reports that everything has been removed from room 434 in the Beverly Hilton, including bed sheets, towels and rubbish.

Since I'm in the entertainment memorabilia business, I get many calls and inquiries when a famous celebrity dies...not only for autographed items but for information on sources to obtain personal items of the deceased.

It has been my policy to sell autographed items of recently deceased celebrities ONLY if it is posted for sale at the time of death and at the original price. If I have an item in inventory, I will wait a minimum of two weeks before listing. Taking advantage of a death is something I will not engage in. I am totally disgusted at how most dealers respond to these situations...Lon