Monday, July 04, 2016

Super Bowl Party Abduction?


NOTE: The vocabulary and vernacular used by the witness is a bit crude...though retaining the manner in which it was delivered is important in expressing the content of the account. Lon

On 2015, Youtuber x_Korndawg_x created a video about a weird experience following a Super Bowl party in 1997:

This is a true story. This is something that happened to me back when I was 19 years old. I don't believe in aliens. I don't. I think aliens are something different and I think that they get categorized as aliens. Are they from another planet? No, absolutely not! I think aliens are something completely different.

Now this story could be about aliens. I don't know. It's a mystery about something that happened to me when I was 19 years old and no I was not abducted by damn aliens. But my buddy Steve believes that he was. And to this day he will tell you the same exact story. And this, from my point of view, is exactly what happened on this night.

When I got out of high school, about two and a half months later, I joined the military and I had the time of my life. By the time I was 19, I was a certified alcoholic. I could run ten miles like a gazelle and then go ahead and out-drink my dad, you know. I was a straight up alcoholic, no doubt about it. New York Times did a piece on us back then. Everybody was really excited. First Sargent. Company commander. Everyone was excited. They came and talked to us and then probably about two months later the article came out. I didn't read the article. I didn't have to. The title summed it up and it read: The 18th Airborne Corp. The Most Physically Fit Alcoholics On The Face Of The Earth. And that was the absolute truth and this story is about Super Bowl Sunday, as well.

A buddy of mine named... We're just gonna call him by his nickname. His nickname was Pink which was short for Pink Floyd. Anyway, Pink was Staff Sargent. He was a little older than us. He was in his mid-30s or so and he had been married and divorced and married and divorced. He had kinda like the bachelor pad, you know, it was kind of like 25 to 30 minutes off base away from the barracks. And, you know, I was a barracks rat and so were all my buddies and my best-friend Steve. Anyway, Pink, he was a really good party friend and he got me a job as a bouncer at a bar he worked at. Yeah, he was a real good friend. Good drinking buddy and all that. You know, my buddy Steve. I was more tight with him than I was with Pink, that's for sure.

Pink wanted to have a Super Bowl party and he didn't want it to get too wild but he did want us to be there and so I told him, we're going to invite a few people and we'll try to keep the headcount kinda low. We don't want to burn your house down or whatever and he was just renting. Anyway, I told Pink, we got about 15 people that are coming. It's gonna be cool. And he said, Man, you guys need a DD. And I was like, well, due to prior incident and due to probably future Youtube content I agreed with him. I was like, yeah, we totally need a designated driver. He was like, well, tomorrow at work, let's draw straws, be fair about it and pick a DD. I said okay. He said, let's make sure everybody's there. I said, alright.

So we gathered everybody up there at lunch time and we drew straws and I'll be damned if I didn't draw the short straw. So now I'm the damn designated driver. So, one of the new guys, Stevens, one of the cherries. I said, dude, let me borrow the shit-box Mustang. I said, c'mon, dude, everybody's gonna be at the party right. He said, okay, right. You can drive my car. Because at the time I had just bought a new Camaro and you ain't puking in my Camaro. That's not gonna happen. Pink wanted me to take everyone from the barracks to his house. From his house back to the barracks. In a Mustang, that means multiple trips. So I set out to do this and go ahead and shove as many people as I can into the Mustang and drive them over there. So I did that. It was all good. This was in '97 and gas was cheap back then so it didn't really matter. Plus everybody kind of chipped in for that so it was all good. Plus, everybody wanted to do something stupid. Somebody wanted to go to Hardy's. Somebody wanted to go to Burger King. Everybody wanted to go by Shopette. But you know I get everybody there and it's a great time. We have a blast. We watch the game. We throw the football in the backyard. We have some scrimmage matches going on which turns into backyard wrestling. If you've ever been in the military, you know what I'm talking about. It gets crazy after a little bit of drinking. And Pink's got a pool table and darts and all that stuff. So we're having a real good time. We're having a blast, you know.

It gets pretty late and I start taking everybody back and it comes down to where it's one last trip. I have four guys left. When I get these idiots in the car, we're good to go. I'm looking forward to getting this over with. So I walk on to the back patio and there's my buddy Old School face-first in the grass. Just laid out. Why's his name Old School? Well, he's got an old English lettering tattoo that goes all the way up his arm. It reads: Old School. So, kinda self-explanatory. Like I said, this was in '97. I don't even think that movie had came out yet so how he figured that one out I have no idea. Pretty amazing. So my buddy Steve who I've know from day one in the military, he's back there trying to get Old School up. He's passed out face-first in his own puke. So Wild Bill and my other buddy, Sabdullah, they're both pretty drunk too. And Wild Bill. He was an anomaly. He could be black out drunk and he'd still be walking. Pretty amazing. I told Steve, man, everybody, let's grab up Old School, let's get him in the car and let's get out of here. And my buddy Steve turns and looks at me and says, man, I don't think that's a great idea. He's look, you know, we're cutting it close here lately. Pink had to come and save us not too long ago and stuff like that. I don't think we should do that he's like, just leave me here and just let me mess with Old School. It'll take you 45 to 50 minutes to get to the barracks and back. He's like, maybe I'll have him good to go by the time you get back. I was like, well, Steve's pretty drunk but he's making sense. Plus, he said, me and him and Old School, all in the same dorm, or in the same barracks, so, you know, let's ride altogether. Wild Bill and Sabdullah, they are in a different dorm, so, let me go on over there to theirs and then I'll come back and pick you guys up. So I told Steve I'll be right back.

So I take off. I'm rolling up on the barracks and there's this guy climbing out of the damn dumpster as I'm rolling up to the barracks with Wild Bill and Sabdullah. And this dude is falling out of the dumpster and I am cracking up man. I think it's the funniest shit ever. And as I'm rolling up, this dumbass falling out of the dumpster looks like Steve. Man, he's looking a lot like Steve! And as I roll up on him, this dumbass falling out of the dumpster, this is Steve! Now I remind you, this is a 25 minute drive from Pink's house to this dumpster or to the barracks, basically. And Steve has miraculously beat me there even though I was speeding. And the only other person at this residence to have a vehicle was Pink and me. That was it. That was the only two vehicles there at the residence. At this home. So I put it in park and I get out and I'm like, dude, what are you doing? And he turns and he looks at me and he's taken aback. Like he is... I've known him for close to two years at this point and he is in shock that he's staring at me. He doesn't know where he's at. He doesn't have a clue how he got there. He has no earthly clue of why I'm even standing there. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? He's like, I just woke up in a dumpster. What are you doing? I'm like, dude, I'm dropping off Wild Bill and Sabdullah's falling out of the driver's seat... or, rather, the passenger seat right now on the ground. I'm dropping them off at the damn dorm. What are you doing crawling out of the damn dumpster like a dumbass? He's like, I just woke up. What is going on here? I'm like, dude, what is going on here? I'm like, it makes no sense. There's not enough time for you to get here and beat me here. I as like, Where is Pink? I was like, Where is Old School? Is Old School in the dumpster too? And I opened up the dumpster and looked and, nah, there's nobody else in there. Totally clean of people. And Steve's looking at me and he's like, I woke up there. I don't know. I don't understand how I got there. I was like, do you remember talking to me in Pink's backyard? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, well, then how did you get here? He was like, I don't know, I just woke up there. I was like, just now, you just woke up there? And he's like, Yeah. I said, Dude, that don't make no sense. There's not enough time and he looks down at his watch and, mind you, Steve has had this watch since basic training. I would know because I was there when he bought. He's been wearing it ever since he bought it and he's almost been wearing it for two years. I don't wear a watch. If we're lost in the woods or we're doing something out there, or doing something stupid or waiting on the damn drop zone for some jackass or whatever and I turn around and I want to know what time it is, I always say, Steve, what time is it? And, you know what, he had this dumbass watch on every damn day.

Steve looks down at this watch and he starts tapping it with his finger and I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, something’s wrong with my watch. It's not moving. I look at his watch. It says, 2:31 (AM). And it's stopped. I go over to the car and I look at the car and the clock it says 3:03 (AM). At this point I'm pissed. Somebody's fucking with me. And now somebody's gonna take a beating. The first thing I think of, Pink's fucking with me. So I take off running back to my dorm. I just leave them there. I just leave these idiots. I take off running. I grab my phone and I call Pink's house at 3:08 (AM). Pink answers the phone. This is a land-line. This was 1997. We did not have cellphones. You were doing good to have a pager. Pink answers the phone. I said, where's Steve at? Pink has no idea what just happened in the parking lot and Pink tells me. I don't know, didn't you tell me you were coming back to pick him up? And I'm like, look and see if Old School.. Where is Old School? Is he in the backyard? He said, hold on. He comes right back and he says, Yeah, Old School is fucking passed out in the backyard and I don't see Steve anywhere. You coming back to get their ass? At that point, it's never made sense.”

Source: 'Story Time: Super Bowl Sunday Alien Abduction ? WTF !' by x_Korndawg_x. Published on 5 Feb 2016.

Transcribed by Jamie Brian


NOTE: if these characters were in the 18th Airborne Corp (Flying Dragons), then they would have been stationed at Ft. Bragg, NC. Lon

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